Unlicensed Professionals Dating Tips

September 15, 2014

Pick Our Dating Tips

Pick Our Dating Tips

One of the biggest and worst parts of life is dating.  The whole ball of action required to attempt to fulfill one’s desire to be with another person or one’s loneliness is tiring just thinking about it.  Whatever your method of meeting, mingling, or communicating, the whole charade is a joke.  And although you may have prepared or perhaps you are just naturally well versed, the whole thing is about as predictable as a game of Russian Roulette—whether or not a bullet in the brain being the desired outcome in this situation is in the eye of the beholder.  It’s hit or miss, hot or cold, drink in your face or they’re at your place.  Statistics are irrelevant on any given night, and there will come a day when your fail-safe strategies will fail you.  But if you really want to brush up on your skills, especially the ones I see guys continue to use despite utter failure, blaming the girl or situation (other than their method), Sam and I have laid out some of the biggest dead horses we see beaten every day, first hand.
Continue reading “Unlicensed Professionals Dating Tips” »

Fall Fashion Trends

September 7, 2014

Runway Shots

Runway Shots

It’s fall and Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week!  And with fall, comes a whole new style and weather friendly season of fashion.  Samantha and I have modeled 6 looks featuring trends to lookout for this autumn.

 

Here’s a cheat sheet of the hot Fall 2014 items featured in each ensemble:

– Jockey Silks

– Long Shirts and Blazers paired with lace boy shorts

– Stripes

– Heels in Bright Colors

– Animal Print Jumpsuits

– Dinosaur Wings

– Jumpers paired with Bras

– Anything Metallic or with a reflective sheen

– Hats that reach at least 5 inches above the head or paired with a Funeral veil

 

UnPros: Fall Fashion Trends from Catherine Imperio on Vimeo.

Continue reading “Fall Fashion Trends” »

Four Years Clean and Obscene

September 1, 2014

4 Years Clean

4 Years Clean

Today marks the anniversary of my fourth year consecutively clean from all mind altering substances minus nicotine and caffeine but including heroin, alcohol, marijuana, uppers, downers, and hallucinogens. First and foremost, I’d like to thank the anonymous.  Wait, this is not an acceptance speech at the Academy Awards.

Perhaps to your surprise, obscenity is not a behavioral result due to my lack of drugs.  I am pretty sure I have always been obscene, playing tricks along that provocative artistic line .  All I have, am, and will be doing is continuing to learn to live a Cate’s normal life without the use of drugs because though drugs can exist without Cate, Cate cannot exist with drugs.

P.S. Up until 5 or so years ago all I knew about the 12 steps was basically nothing because I learned it from Seinfeld.
Continue reading “Four Years Clean and Obscene” »

Different Strokes, From Different Folks

August 31, 2014

C'mon Now Touch Me Babe

C’mon Now Touch Me Babe

There is a plethora of ways people can and will touch you.  To make it easier on all of us, Samantha and I took a few of our most encountered strokes and gave them names.  Now strokes desired, or unfortunately the victim of, can be easily identifiable with this short list of must know terms.  Still confused?—each one comes with its own demonstration.  Enjoy and brush up on your touching vocabulary.

Continue reading “Different Strokes, From Different Folks” »

Cate and Sam Commonalities

August 24, 2014

How Are We Who We Are?

How Are We Who We Are?

Sam and I have a few life experiences in common that definitely pose some psychological interest, for me at least.  Nature versus nurture baby, nature versus nurture.
Continue reading “Cate and Sam Commonalities” »

5-hour ENERGY Yummification

August 20, 2014

Cate and Sam Yummification

Cate and Sam Yummification

Samantha and I entered the 5-hour ENERGY Yummifcation contest!  The contest ended yesterday August 19th at 11:59PM EDT but winners will not be contacted until around September 2, 2014.  The beverage we created is called “Secret Serum” and can be concocted simply by combining 1 bottle of 5-hour ENERGY Extra Strength Grape with 16 ounces of water.  It tastes like a light fruity sports drink.  We built the entire set from scratch by ourselves in my living room.  Script, storyboard, acting, filming, lighting, costume design, sound, editing, and anything else you can think of was done soley by Samantha and myself.  Once again, another completely Cate and Sam DIY artistic adventure executed as professionally as possible by “unlicensed professionals.”  $100,000 will be divvied up amongst selected finalists by 5-hour ENERGY, and we are hoping to win some cash to help fund our cost of living and creative endeavors so we can keep bringing you the best of the best.

The contest requires each video be uploaded directly to their site and shared via their provided email, Twitter, and Facebook links.  Below I embedded a Facebook post I made earlier today that has a direct play button to watch our video directly and easily here.

 

Continue reading “5-hour ENERGY Yummification” »

We Made A Calendar

August 20, 2014

Another Happy Customer

Another Happy Customer

Buttload of Months

2014 Wall Calendar

Exclusive Wall Calendar

featuring and produced

by Cate Imperio

and Sam Fairley.

GET CALENDAR!

Robin Williams Tribute

August 17, 2014

Robin Williams

Robin Williams

This week Samantha and I  had to honor Robin Williams, he’s a funny guy, we’re funny girls, he has inspired us and many others, you get it.  Here’s an UnPro recreation of a memorable scene from Mrs. Doubtfire.  Hope you’re partying wherever you are.  For those of you that don’t get the reference, I’ve included the original below.


Continue reading “Robin Williams Tribute” »

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Accepted

August 13, 2014

Cate Doin' The Ice Bucket Challenge

Cate Doin’ The Ice Bucket Challenge

The Ice Bucket or Donate in 24hours challenge is sweeping the nation by storm in an effort to both raise awareness and funds for further ALS research to find a cure.  Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is most commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.  My long time teenage bestie Jenna Romano, currently in residing in Israel, nominated me.  I accepted the challenge and I hope you do as well.  Remember, if nominated, you must either “ice bucket” yourself and post video via social networks (Facebook, YouTube, etc.) or donate money to ALS within 24hours.  P.S. I pretty much flooded my living room, but it was worth it.

Donations can be made at ALSA.org
Continue reading “ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Accepted” »