June 29, 2015

uUntitled-1_webSuperheroes meet the Unlicensed Professionals.  It’s been an editing nightmare but I must walk away from the mess I am still unhappy with, the blessing and curse of the one week video, that for the first time I pushed to two.

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Let’s Naz-er-cise

June 14, 2015

Sexy Nazis?

Sexy Nazis?

Let’s Nazercise, as in “Let’s Jazzercise,” but focus on our arms and legs in the traditional military marching fashion. Background music is Westerwald Lied, a well know German military song. A good 2 to 3 hours were devoted to constructing our costumes, composed of tape, bits of cut up t-shirts, sharpie, lingerie, and tinfoil. We’re very green over in the UnPros studio. Every time I cut up a t-shirt, I save the scraps for later use in such things as Nazi garb. Note Samantha’s hand made SS and medals build from pink duck tape and my horrendous artistry atop silver duck tape.  Oh and that’s a transparent blue water gun in Sam’s mouth, thank heaven for black and white footage. If you need more explaining in regard to this week’s topic, you are obviously watching the wrong show.  My mind is what it is and it does what it does with Sam.

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Why I Need Feminism

June 7, 2015

Can't We All Just Be Equal Without Having To Talk About it?

Can’t We All Just Be Equal Without Having To Talk About it?

Being a girl has its perks: The Vagina, perhaps you’ve heard of it. In 2015 there is still much inequality. I however am not concerned with job and educational imbalances in opportunity and pay, nor do I stand behind affirmative action. A gender unbiased (or blind if necessary) hiring or admission based on skills, achievements, job history, academics, etc. is something I rally more for than making things “even” and then maybe worrying about working on the act of or human ability of not considering gender at all when filling those positions or granting opportunities.  There are many out-dated stereotypes, that don’t even translate to funny jokes, and I love funny jokes.  If we are going to make fun of women, can we at least write some new material that may or may not be true but is at least considered comedy? Yes, women have boobs Continue reading “Why I Need Feminism” »

Celeb Sex Scandals

June 1, 2015

I Wish I Did It

I Wish I Did It

Every year, hundreds, if not thousands, of regular Americans are becoming famous via reality television and yet there are still a few claimed incidents of actual celebrities involved sexual misconduct.  Cosby and his, as Dave Chappelle calls them,”antique rapes,” and Jackson and his Neverland Rapes are so infamous that they need not be touched in our vigorously researched accounts of star-studded accusations.  Some of these alleged violations disappeared via cash money, some via insufficient evidence to pursue an arrest, while others were taken to trial and found both guilty and not-guilty. But why so much hate on these for possibly partaking in these clearly improperly communicated sexual advances?  Aren’t we all guilty of suppressing and interpreting what we want sometimes?  Aren’t we all guilty of some, if not lots of, offensive sex?

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Oil Spill, Shmoil Pill

May 25, 2015

Stains-All American Pipelines Cares

Stains-All American Pipelines Cares

Well, surprise! Despite what you’ve heard in the news and countless satellite and helicopter photos of the Refugio State Beach, this is not an oil spill.  I repeat, is not.  It’s just another creative way Stains-All American Pipelines is showing you how much we appreciate our customers. We LOVE YOU!  Not to sound crude, but get the fuck off my lawn.

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The Truth About Body Shaming

May 17, 2015

Body Shaming

Body Shaming

A documentary featuring a closer look at the body shaming language that two young girls yell everyday.  These two, like many others, are upset with their bodies day in and day out.  Low self-esteem produces thoughts of hate toward imperfections in their given figures.  These thoughts traverse into self-inflicted verbal abuse which wounds their spirits even further. This video captures some of the hell they deal with everyday. Will their cries for help ever be heard? Will their body dysmorphic disorder and delusions of animate appendages consciously trying to hinder them ever be addressed and treated by licensed professionals? This is real life and these are real problems.  These are their stories [Bum Bum]

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Sex With An Ex: The Dos and Don’ts

May 10, 2015

Rules For Sex With An Ex

Rules For Sex With An Ex

We all do it. First, let’s admit to that. Let’s also admit that there is and can be nothing wrong with that so long as there are no feelings of love and some ground rules are mutually laid out and agreed to follow.  This open communication about just what this is (sex), is absolutely necessary so that there are no unmet expectations and resentments building and burning inside.  Any feelings that may emerge and cannot smashed, they need be. If feeling feelings, you must walk away from this arrangement as quickly as possible before they grow even larger.  This is a fuck not a mind fuck.  Behold the Unlicensed Professional guide to post breakup hookups

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Fetishes: The Saga Continues

May 3, 2015

The More You Know...About Kinky Sex

The More You Know…About Kinky Sex

As if our first episode and our latest episode were not enough, Sam and I present Fetishes 3.  It’s much better than Scream 3, that much I can say.  I wouldn’t call this week’s episode the third part in a trilogy for I cannot predict that the development and scientific/Latin rooted classification of fetishes will end, at least anytime soon.  Thus there will be much much more to be discussed along the Unlicensed Professional train.

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Fetishes: The Long Awaited Return

April 27, 2015

What the fuck are fetishes?

What the fuck are fetishes?

Ever since our first episode aired, Samantha and I have received many and repeated requests to cover more fetishes in another video.  These requests ranged from Unlicensed Professionals’ fans spanning New York all the way to Peru y mas.  If you didn’t already know the answer to the trivia question, “What was Unlicensed Professionals’ first video,” now you do. It was all about fetishes. As you can imagine, I am not impressed by much.  There’s a fucking fetish for every random ass thing I can think of. If I throw a few random words together (like pink SD card flaring) I’m sure there’s a few people that are into it. It may not be too organized yet (i.e. it’s own webpage), but it’s not far from. Therefore, we scour the internet, the best source of formally validated information, for the “bigger” ones, and the “funner” (weirder to the general population) ones, and give you a lesson and demonstration, UnPros style. P.S. this may be Unlicensed Professionals: Fetishes Part 2, but Part 3 will be airing next week, so the saga continues…

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