October 20, 2014
I’ve definitely pulled my fair share of costumes out of my ass. I’m pretty good at finagling whats around into something we can use, similar to those people that can look at the seven random items in your fridge and turn it into an actual meal. However. considering I’ve always kept an overly eccentric eclectic supply of props and costumes around for performance art necessities, it’s not fair for me to come up with Cate’s current last minute costumes, looking at my own closet. So, here are some super last minute costumes using things most people happen to have around, such as toilet paper—well we hope…
Continue reading “Last Last Minute Halloween Costumes” »
October 12, 2014
What’s the latest paranoia craze?—the deadly virus known as Ebola. Ebola is definitely one of the more gruesome diseases I’ve ever heard of and had to imagine. However, Ebola can only be contracted via fluid to fluid contact with an infected person, just like the infamous acquired immune deficiency syndrome aka AIDS (earlier stages being classified as human immunodeficiency virus infection or HIV). In general, Ebola is not transmitted via air or water or food, however, in Africa, hunting/handling/eating a wild animal (bushmeat) infected with the virus can lead to contraction as well as contact with contaminated bats. At this point, only mammals seem to be able to contract and spread the deadly virus as opposed to insects such as mosquitoes. So everyone quit freaking the fuck out, unless you happen to do anything of the things we point out in our video without the proper protection we describe.
October 9, 2014
The song I Want To Break Free by Queen sums up exactly how I feel right now…
In other news, did you know, this video was banned by MTV, among other stations, in 1984 due to the “content” which was actually a spoof on a British soap opera and misinterpreted by/in the US as something “obscene?” The ban was lifted in 1991 by VH1 when they aired the video during a special devoted to Queen hosted by guitarist Brian May called My Generation. The song was written by bassist John Deacon and played at most of their live performances. Despite the video block, the song never took quite as well in the States as it did in other places when released. Where it was loved and the video laughed within the UK, the song took on “new” meanings of freedom from oppression in South America and South Africa. I Want To Break Free was seen as an anthem in those parts for those combating oppression and when Freddie Mercury took the stage in 1985 at a show in Rio de Janeiro in a wig and falsies, the crowd threw rocks at him, not wanting their sacred hymn to be disgraced. Understanding yet still puzzled, Mercury removed the female parts which calmed the “Queen church goers.”
…about my own personal life.
Continue reading “I’ve Got To Break Free” »
October 5, 2014
This week Samantha and I invent and play a little game called, “Hit it, or Hit it with a Bus.” In privacy, Samantha and I separately wrote down the names of 20 “celebrities” and placed them in a hat. To keep it varied and interesting, I made the rule that half of those 20 names be female and half male. Of the resulting 10 female names, 5 would have to be someone each of us personally would band, and 5 of which we would not…the same rules applied to the 10 males. That way, the formula of resulting names would be an interested test for comparison between the two of us. There are a couple names that we both put in, which is interesting in itself as one of which is an extremely random person that has never come up between us in conversation. Throughout the game, minds are changed and intimate details of our personal lives are poured out into the open. Our dumbest comments and lack of pop culture knowledge are yours to poke fun at and call us out on. Additionally, a tally is kept the length of the game so you can see which one of us is a bigger slut. Since there is barely any editing other than dead air space, you get to see and hear it all, no filters, no secrets kept… I consider us more naked than you’ve ever seen us. Due to the intimate length, I’ve designed a menu board in which you can pick and click; choose to skip to any of the celebrities that were in our game. There is always a menu button in the center of the screen to take you back to the home screen at any point. You can also click play all at the bottom of the menu if you just wanna go for the full she-bang. Have fun! We worked hard on this one.
Continue reading “I’d Hit That, or I’d Hit That with a Bus” »
October 1, 2014
I have been meaning to post or at least figure out how I wanted to reveal this artwork to the world for at least a year. The idea came to me upon pondering where I currently was in my artist expression. It had been quite some time since I had done any of my “own” performance based photography/video art and I was unsure of my current visions. In the past I would conceive of an idea or concept and then figure out a way to visually depict that via constructed scenes usually using myself as the subject if one was necessary for it was far easier for me to explain to myself what I wanted myself to add to the piece and how, and most of the time my ideas were not the most comfortable for most people to take on and allow me to shoot them. It was now July 2013, about 3 years since I had done any of my own art, when I realized that all of my views had changed. I was no longer on a mission to change or save the world after my recent realization that thinking that my views or ways are better than that of others and that others need to be exposed and implement my ways (in which I sincerely was on a mission of helping the human race for their benefit), that I was in effect playing god. Continue reading “Literal Flash Mob” »
September 29, 2014
Here’s a look into what Samantha and I like to call the “Unclaimed Band Name Hall of Fame.” So many bands out there, so many horrible names. Some bands don’t even take a second to check to see if the awful name they have chosen has already been claimed. Whether your band name features the word machine or little, a type of animal combined with an unrelated noun, or just cannot be verbally pronounced with certainty upon reading it, here are some extremely better original alternatives to crap.
Continue reading “Unclaimed Band Name Hall of Fame” »
September 25, 2014
Well, this just in, we did not win the 5-hour Energy Yummification contest in any way, shape, or form. Sam and I did not even make it into the 5th runner up finalists category. Well, since uploading entry videos to any other service other than theirs disqualifies you from the contest and we’ve already lost, here’s an unfrightening play button to watch our fifty second commercial for all of our YouTube and Vimeo fans! I quickly grazed over the page of winners, and the 5-hour team seems to have chosen all videos in which a drink was concocted from a 5-hour Energy shot and only 1 other ingredient, none of which is water. However, water was listed as one of the 10 or so acceptable ingredients. One finalist of sorts was a smoothie, and, did I mention, tastiness of recipe (25%) and name of recipe (15%) comprised a total of 40% of the judging criteria as opposed to video quality which made up a whopping 60%. Whatever, we live, we learn. We followed through and entered on time and I am pretty proud of our entry. Samantha and I constructed our video production from start to finish, building and tearing down the entire set in my living room in the same day, with a budget of whatever a mouthpiece and squeeze bottle cost.
Continue reading “5-hour Energy Fail” »
September 21, 2014
Here’s the scoop on ways you can touch a butt or your butt can be touched. It’s a bunch of puns and everything rhymes with pooper, so you’re welcome.
Continue reading “Unlicensed Professionals’ Scoop on Butt Touches” »
September 18, 2014
You know what really grinds my gears? The no plastic bag law in Santa Barbara, CA. Despite the fact that they think this will do the trick on saving the Earth [ahem, smog, cars, no public transportation, ahem], it’s kind of been a royal pain in my ass. Now if you would like disposable bag for your groceries, drug store needs, etc., you can purchase one for 10¢—did I mention your only option for purchase are paper bags with no handles?—Because those are pretty much useless. Now the supermarket and drug store chains can still make money off of this by forcing us to purchase their reusable grocery bags for a dollar and change, that they probably get made by the millions for a penny by small children in a country we try not to think about. But aside from all of these medium level irritations, I have my biggest problem with the fact that I now have to carry tote bags with me 24/7 in case I find myself having a little time in the day in the proximate area of getting some grocery, household, or self care shopping done.
Sometimes my trips are heavy duty; you know when it seems like you are in need of not just fresh food but shampoo, garbage bags, toilet paper, a new plunger, cleaning spray, body wash, tinfoil, paper towels, mouthwash, vitamins, a mop, you get the idea. The CVS buy one get one free on almost anything at any given time (or the mile long scroll of coupons I get to go through and attempt to utilize per each visit) is nice, but doesn’t help my volume issue. How is one supposed to get all of these items out of the store and into ones car and into ones home? Am I supposed to bring a luggage duffel bag with me to the store or a wheely suitcase to be able to successfully leave the register with all of my purchases? Am I supposed to purchase and then carry 20 canvas bags in my purse, backpack, or car at all times? Maybe I’ll just pull my Z car up to the register and load everything directly off the conveyor belt into my trunk. If you ask me, this bag law so far has just had me making more and more trips to the store per week due to inability to carry all of my needs at one time, and believe me, prior I can carry 10 plastic bags per arm from register to car to home, which is up a flight of stairs, in one trip. Three canvas bags is too many, and that is still never enough.
How do you like my rant? This law is just another thing in life I will learn to deal with. But if I’m going to be forced to carry a reusable tote bag, it might as well be inappropriate. And if I’m going to have to make it inappropriate Continue reading “Bag Laws and My Canvas Tote Bag” »